Grit: This thing takes resilience

Failure visits us all. I'm not sure it gets easier and if it does it's only through repetition.

If we're not failing, we're not being ambitious enough in the things we are trying to accomplish. Simply this is why do many coddle themselves in the relative ease of corporate metrics.

Achieving something more meaningful and sustainable in this world is...sorry to say...bound up in a ceaseless felt sense of failure.

As much as we've been castigated in the past for failure, and as much as failure/success been made binary (hence sports commentators commiserate with silver medal-winning Olympians), in this new life, of alternative entrepreneurialism, it must not be our enemy.

A launch that fizzles, a partnership that falters, an energy that's unreciprocated..it sucks, but these are not indictments of our worth.

Often we fail because simply we are ahead of the curve. Or we give up too soon.

We need to be more imaginative...and often to dig deeper into who we are and our values and share them more.

My own response to failure is so often rooted in shame and frustration. I want to throw it all in. I want it all to stop.

If we simply keep going, humbly, refusing to indulge the personal emotions too much and focus on our ultimate cause...we will in the long term achieve far more than we will be stopping. And this is why values matter...since we will always push further and endure more and thus achieve more in pursuit of ends that truly involve us.

Strengthening Your Emotional Core

In the face of uncertainty, emotions rise and fall like chaotic breath.

There will be days when self-doubt clings like seaweed, whispering that you were foolish to leave the safety of the shore. Resilience means befriending these feelings. Yes indeed you are an adventurer. How can one be such without often feeling lost?

Name your fears and frustrations. Find people with whom you can discuss them. Befriend, don't banish them. Take them with you as companions on your journey, rather than fear them as bandits who will ambush you.

This practice grounds you, reminding you that you are more than your fleeting feelings.

Cultivating a Network of Allies

Resilience is not a solo endeavor; it flourishes in connection. Surround yourself with people who believe in your vision, and share your values. who remind you of your strength when you forget.

Seek out those who have charted their own paths: mentors who can offer wisdom, peers who can share in your triumphs and trials. We label ourselves as failures when those around us see only our achievements. Keep open ears for your champions and celebrate them too.

Redefining Security

The allure of a steady paycheck and a predictable routine is hard to relinquish. But resilience means shifting your sense of security from external structures to internal resources.

Security is no longer a job title or a retirement plan; it’s your ability to adapt, to learn, to create. It’s the knowledge that you can weather what comes, not because the world is stable, but because you are.

Embracing the Long View

Resilience is a marathon, not a sprint. You will face setbacks that test your patience, moments when progress feels glacial. In these times, remember that growth is not always visible. Seeds germinate in darkness; rivers carve canyons over millennia.

Anchor yourself in the vision of the life you are building. Keep a journal of small victories—a kind review from a client, a morning spent doing work you love. Let these remind you that every step forward, no matter how small, is a triumph.

Finding Joy in the Journey

Resilience is not only about enduring difficulty; it’s about finding joy even amid uncertainty. Celebrate the freedom to explore, to create, to redefine what success means. Let the act of building your new life be a source of delight, not just a means to an end.

Take pleasure in the process—experimenting with new ideas, meeting unexpected allies, savoring moments of calm between the storms. Joy is not frivolous; it is fuel.

The Call to Resilience

To build resilience is to choose faith over fear, curiosity over comfort. It is to trust that the unknown is not an abyss but a horizon—a place where new worlds begin.

You will be tested. But each test will make you stronger, more resourceful, more alive. And one day, you will look back at the seas you have crossed and see not chaos, but a map—a testament to your courage and your capacity to endure.

So step forward. Build your craft, adjust your sails, and trust yourself to the wind. Resilience is not just what keeps you afloat; it’s what carries you home.

Building Resilience: Practical Experiments for Overcoming the Corporate Grind

Resilience is not something you’re born with—it’s something you build, often by embracing discomfort. This is something I’ve come to realize through a combination of science, personal experiments, and the stories of those who’ve dared to push themselves beyond their perceived limits.

Malala Yousafzai, survived a Taliban assassination attempt for advocating girls’ education. Instead of retreating, she emerged stronger, using her voice to inspire global change. Dr. Denis Mukwege, a Congolese doctor who has dedicated his life to helping women who have been victims of sexual violence, despite facing numerous threats to his life, has continued his work, founding the Panzi Hospital, where thousands of women receive medical care. His resilience in the face of extreme danger and hardship speaks to the transformative power of confronting adversity. Consider also Nelson Mandela, who spent 27 years in prison, emerging not broken but with a deepened resolve and vision for peace and went on to lead his country for over a decade.

These examples show that resilience is built through struggle. And encourage us to focus on resilience, not success as our northstar. For success can only ever be temporary, while resilience we retain.

Resilience is primarily built through facing and overcoming adversity, not an innate quality.

For instance, in the case of Malala, the trauma she endured after being shot didn’t break her but became a catalyst for growth. After the attack, she chose to speak out for the rights of girls despite the risks, and in doing so, she gradually transformed her pain into purpose. Her ability to push forward after such a traumatic event didn’t come from being born "resilient"; it came from learning how to cope with fear, loss, and pressure and choosing to act in service of a greater cause.

Similarly, Dr. Mukwege didn't begin his life with an innate ability to withstand the extreme stress of working in war zones. Instead, his resilience was forged in the trenches, so to speak. He faced constant threats to his life and safety, but he persisted. Over time, he learned how to manage that stress, protect his emotional health, and stay committed to his mission, even when the risks were overwhelming.

Huberman's research on resilience highlights that our ability to recover from hardship comes from learning how to manage stress, adapt to challenges, and grow from them. It’s through repeated exposure to difficult experiences, followed by recovery and reflection, that we become more resilient. These individuals, through their experiences, grew stronger not because they were born with a special "resilient gene," but because they repeatedly chose to face discomfort, reflect on it, and adapt.

So, resilience is built through intentional exposure to adversity, learning from it, and developing the tools to cope with it more effectively.

Yet most people avoid discomfort, opting for the "path of least resistance" because our brains are wired to seek safety and immediate gratification. The dopamine system rewards easy, pleasurable experiences, making it tempting to stay in familiar, comfortable situations.

Resilience isn’t about “toughing it out” for the sake of endurance alone; it’s about developing a conscious toolkit to handle the unpredictable, learn from failure, and remain adaptable as you forge a new path, especially if that path leads you away from the corporate world.

Practical experiments in resilience

We’ll now explore three areas—wilderness survival, marathon training, and stand-up comedy—as practical, transferable experiments to build resilience.

If this sounds a little hardcore remember that it's resilience, not world class that we're trying to grow. A 10k race, a night's solo camping, or simply going to a bar alone and striking up conversation with strangers can be versions .

We’ll also ground these experiments in scientific research, specifically Andrew Huberman’s work on the neuroscience of stress and adaptability. Huberman, a neuroscientist at Stanford, who I struggle not to quote in every single blog, so helpful have I found his work, has detailed protocols in his podcasts that explain how we can train our bodies and minds to handle stress, recover, and thrive in uncertainty.